Twenty Twitter types

Now, I've seen a few of these kinds of posts around – the type that generalise the different types of people who use Twitter, but I'm determined to give it a shot myself. So, here goes:

1) 'The statesmen' – usually an 'internet guru', 'entrepreneur', 'marketer' or 'social media expert'. The profile pic is shot in some 90's studio and highly stylised (posed). Almost all tweets are spruiking the self.

2) 'The hipster' – MySpacers who have migrated over. Profile pic is shot from an angle, with head tilt. References to fixed-gear bikes appear often. The more random and nonsensical the tweet, the better.

3) 'The mom' – Bio reads: "Just new to Twitter, making my living through the 'internet' while my kids are at school".

4) 'The spammer' – Sophisticated and somewhat rare... for the moment at least.

5) 'The friend' – High school or 'college' friend that follows you only to realise they have no idea what you are talking about and quickly unfollow because you tweet too often and spam their feed.

6) 'The fraudster' – One of the influx of 'fakes'. Often politicians or memes.

7) 'The placeholder' – Too important/busy/old school to tweet at this point in time. Savvy enough to register their name.

8) 'The follower' – Uses Twitter as some sort of RSS feeder. Does not understand or want to partake in dialogue. No avatar. Could be a stalker.

9) 'The gods' – One of the originals, with a gazillion followers who retweet them every five seconds. Only people new to Twitter don't follow them, and that's just because they haven't discovered them yet. E.g. @Mashable.

10) 'The shy-peeps' – A little like 'The follower' but have inserted a profile picture and bio, even if it's not of themselves or is their eye only.

11) 'The newbie' – Registered five minutes ago with their first tweet reading, "New to Twitter", "Checking this out" or "WTF is this?".

12) 'The chronic Twitpicker' – 140 characters is too laborious for them. Every tweet is a link to the latest photo of their nightly run, coffee, view from the office and so forth.

13) 'The abandoner' – Joined in '06 or '07, left a few tweets and then got the hell out of there.

14) 'The prand' – The merging of the person with the brand. Cannot tell if it's a robot or a human. Solid follower numbers and usually a stay-at-home blogger.

15) 'The tribute' – Some sort of historical figure that doesn't have the opportunity to or can no longer tweet, basically because their dead! E.g @David_Ogilvy.

16) 'The unoriginal' – Every tweet is a retweet. That is all.

17) 'The offline celeb' – Yawn.

18) 'The comedian' – Discovered Twitter after Rove plugged it on his show. Every tweet has to prove how funny they really are. Even if it's 2am in the morning.

19) 'The plugger' – auto RSS feed of someone's blog – all links.

20) 'The weird-word bot' – Some sort of wired-auto bot that picks up certain words when you tweet. Just don't mention 'Oprah'...

Remember kiddies, generalisations are always fun and not meant to be offensive. I'm just having a laugh. "Are you having a laff'?". Yes. :-P